Drunk and in Love
by Kudostalker
Summary: Harry and Voldie are friends? and if that weren't enough, dating? What happens when they get drunk... Warnings: this has dark Harry, mpreg, ooc, cursing, and slash


Drunk and in Love

Ok…I was attacked by a plotbunny…Shinju seems to have a knack for finding them…and has no idea why anyone could be afraid of them…

As you usually see Harry carrying Voldie's baby, I switched it around…hehehe, mood swinging Voldie…lousy Death Eaters beware.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Harry Potter; they belong to J. K. Rowling, who is a bloody genius to have come up with this…

Warnings: this has dark Harry, mpreg, ooc, cursing (just the f-word a few times at the end), and a Harry/Voldie pairing…

_Thinking_

**Parseltongue**

/Harry to Voldie through link/

//Voldie to Harry through link//

Huge authors note:

HBP NEVER HAPPENED!

And now for some background material:

Harry and Voldie actually started becoming friends after Voldie got his body back in Harry's fourth year. They've been using their link to get to know each other better. Voldie taught Harry Occlumency and Legillimency so that he'd be able to keep this hidden from Dumbledore and so Harry would know when others were lying to him. They keep fighting and insisting that they hate each other for the sake of keeping up appearances. They manage to secretly meet at different times during the year, whether Harry is at Hogwarts or Privet Drive. They had decided that they were dating sometime during Harry's fifth year, but never got past cuddling or kissing.

This starts during the summer before Harry's seventh year…sometime in the middle of July…

Harry is the only person who is able to call Voldie 'Tom.'

Voldie looks like he did as Tom Riddle again, just 'cause he looks so much better that way, and I can't imagine Harry with a guy who looks like a snake…

Harry had to go to a members only bar just to get away from his 'babysitter.' Hell, the only reason he could go to this bar was because he owned it…not that they knew that…

He walked in and sat down at the bar.

"What would you like?"

"The usual."

"Coming up, Mr. Potter."

As he was waiting for his drink he felt the familiar tickle in his mind that meant Tom wanted to talk.

//You're late.//

/Not my fault. Tonks wouldn't leave until I informed her that this was members only…and swore I wouldn't drink anything./

Tom made his way over to Harry as they spoke.

"And failed to mention that the only members are Slytherins and Death Eaters…or that you drink here on a semi-regular basis."

"What, and be chained up for the rest of the summer? It's better this way"

"True…"

From there they moved onto talking about different things…how Tom was doing while taking over the world, how Dumbledore was messing everything up, and, their favorite, what Dumbledore's reaction would be if he ever found out about them.

By that point it was late and they were both very drunk. The muggle bartender wasn't about to let them leave like that, especially since he knew Harry couldn't let his guards know he had been drinking, so he made them go up to one of the rooms to sleep it off.

That would have been a good idea if Harry and Tom were muggles. But they were wizards and had what they needed to deal with it. To keep him from finding out they went up to the room before dealing with their drunken states. However, the potion (for the drunkenness) wasn't completely effective. They still had enough in their system to make them do stupid shit…which they did.

"Y'know Harry, I always liked you…"

"Really? 'Cause I always liked you too, Tom."

"Cool…"

(a/n I know that Voldie saying cool really doesn't seem right, but he's kept up with the slang terms of the day, and uses them when in the presence of Harry. And the way they talk is also due to what alcohol is still in their systems)

"Actually, I really like you…that's why I d'cided t'date you…"

"Yeah…y'know, I was plannin' t'ask you t'marry me when you finished school…"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

They go off on that vein for a while.

By then it's ten at night, and they're sober enough to make sense. And realize that they truly do love each other…and get drunk again before giving in and having sex.

The next morning…

Harry wakes up to find himself curled around Tom, with his face in Tom's back.

"**Tom…Tom, get up."**

"**I'm sssso comfy, can't you give me a few more minutessss?...wait, Harry? What the hell?!"**

"So you're up."

"Why're we…?"

"Think about it."

Tom does, and remembers what happened.

"Merlin's immortal tight ass."

"…that's one way to put it…"

"So what're we gonna do now?"

"Well you said you were gonna ask me to marry you…I will, you know. I love you."

Tom's eyes widen as he realizes what Harry just said.

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"With all my heart."

With that Tom kissed Harry and summoned something.

"I didn't plan to give you this until you graduated, but since you're already seventeen it doesn't really matter. You accepted."

He hands Harry the box, which, when Harry opens it, reveals two silver rings that, when worn would look like a tiny silver snake was circling the person's finger. (obviously one for each of them...)

"Oh Tom…"

They got married two weeks later in a private ceremony.

A month later Harry was once again on the train on his way to Hogwarts, ready to begin lying again. He had been informed that this year all fifth, sixth, and seventh years were going to be resorted.

_Heh, this time I'll let the hat put me in Slytherin._

Far away in Tom's hideout…

Tom woke up and stared at the ceiling. He knew he had gotten up late but he hadn't slept well the night before. Then all of a sudden he felt like he was gonna be sick. He ran to the bathroom and just made it.

_What the hell? I never get sick…eh; if it keeps up I'll get help and tell Harry. No need to worry him if it's only once._

Little did he know…(a/n hehehe…he's gonna be puking for a while…hehehe)

Back to Harry…

It had been two weeks since school started. Harry got resorted into Slytherin. Ron called him a traitor and ended their friendship. Hermione barely talked to him anymore. Not that he cared. Draco was his friend now, as were the rest of the Slytherins. He didn't need friends who couldn't accept where he had ended up.

_I miss Tom…wonder how he's doing…heh, I know, I'll sneak out tonight and go see him._

With that thought Harry got up and headed to class.

Back to Tom…

He'd been puking for two weeks. TWO BLOODY WEEKS!!! And it hadn't stopped or gotten any better.

_Fine. I'll get help. Then tell Harry._

He calls his healer Death Eater. She checks him over, and seems shocked.

"What is it woman?"

"You…you're…"

"Just spit it out!"

"You're pregnant."

"WHAT?!"

"Just what I said. You're about two months along now."

_SHIT! HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!...wait, two months?...fuck, that's when Harry and I got drunk as hell…well, nothing we can do now. I'll owl him about it tomorrow. I better erase her memories of this, or all my Death Eaters will know within the hour ._ "Obliviate!..." _and for good measure…_ "Crucio!"

Back to Hogwarts…(a/n I know, the back and forth is annoying, but this is how my plotbunny is working…don't kill me, kill the plotbunnies)

Harry barely managed to get through his classes, the thought that he would be seeing Tom again that night distracting him to no end. As soon as he could he snuck out of the castle, past the barriers, and apparated to Tom's hideout.

"Tom?"

"Harry? That you?" said Tom, sounding scared.

_Tom's scared?_ "Yeah, it's me. You ok?"

"**No I am bloody well not ok."**

_He doesn't want anybody to know._ **"You wanna tell me what'ssss wrong?"**

"**I…I'm pregnant."**

"**You're pregnant…with my child?"**

"**Yessss."**

"**How-"**

"**It only happenssss when both wizardssss are very powerful."**

"**Which we are. Sssso we have a child on the way…when did you find out?"**

"**Thissss morning. I wassss going to owl you tomorrow to let you know."**

"**Well I'm glad I came to ssssee you tonight…sssspeaking of which, I sssshould get back, it'ssss getting late."**

"Then I'll see you on your next Hogsmede weekend."

"Yep. Love you Tom."

"Love you too Harry."

With that Harry apparated back to Hogwarts.

And time went on. Tom never told his Death Eaters about his pregnancy, and Harry went to visit him at least once a week on the weekends. When Tom began to show he started using concealing charms to hide it, and would only drop them when he and Harry were alone together.

"What the-"

"What is it Tom?"

"I think the baby just kicked."

Harry put his hand to Tom's stomach, and felt the baby kick his hand.

"Wow…"

By eight months Tom was ready to have this baby. Even with the concealing charm he felt huge and ugly. He was also having a hard time controlling his emotions…which did not bode well for his Death Eaters. Harry tried to be there after every DE meeting. Tom managed not to burst into tears in front of the DE, but they had noticed a large increase in the number of seemingly random tortures during meetings. So they tried to make sure he would have no real reason to attack them. Nagini had been around afterwards when he would burst into tears afterward, doing what she could to calm him if Harry wasn't there. Like this time.

"**Masssster, it issss ok, they are jusssst foolssss. Try to relax, sssstressss issss not good for you or the young you carry."**

"**Thank you Nagini. I needed that."**

"**I know, Masssster."**

At that point Harry showed up.

"Sorry Tom, it was hard to get away from that crackpot old fool Dumbledore…I think he's starting to suspect something."

"Took him long enough."

"True. As it is, I don't have long, so I came to make sure you're ok."

"I'll be fine, Harry."

"Ok, just let me know if anything changes."

Tom rolls his eyes. "Yes Dear…"

Harry laughs at that.

"Ok, see you when I can get away from that old fool again."

It was now halfway through April. The baby was due any day. Harry was sneaking off every night to check on Tom, who was, as he put it, "More than ready to have this bloody baby already."

But Tom also had an attack on Hogwarts to plan. So he decided that he'd do it that night. Even though he'd been feeling a bit weird all day. He had let Harry know the night before after his DE meeting where he told the DE's what his plan was.

So he went to attack.

It was actually going pretty well…that is, it was until he was 'fighting' Harry and went into labor…then things didn't go so well…mainly because Dumbledore and everyone else on the light side was yelling at Harry to kill Tom while he couldn't fight back, while the DE's were being told by Tom (in between his gasps of pain) not to do anything to Harry.

Those on the light side who had had a good view of the fight were wondering what had Tom in pain, as Harry hadn't managed to hit Tom with any spell that would do that. The DE's that had had a good view were also wondering what had him in pain, but figured that Harry must have gotten a spell through.

So everything went to a standstill as they all stared at Harry and Tom, expecting Harry to kill Tom on the spot. Harry looked worried, which confused them even more. Then they heard the two of them speaking in parseltongue to each other.

"**Tom? What's wrong? You're not…oh shit, you're in labor aren't you?"**

Everyone watched as realization dawned on Harry's face, wondering what was going on.

"**Yes I am…FUCK!...and it hurts like hell…Harry what are we-MOTHER OF FUCK!-gonna do?"**

"**We could just apparate away…but I don't think apparating would be a good idea now…"**

Tom looked like he was dying from the pain, and Harry was starting to look really worried.

"Potter! What're you doing? Just kill him already!" shouted Ron.

"Shut up Weasel. I'm sure Harry has a reason for what he's doing." said Draco.

"Damnit…why'd it have to be now? Couldn't it wait until after we'd finished with this?" said Harry.

"Couldn't what wait, Harry?"

"None of your business old man…FUCK THIS HURTS! This is between Harry and I."

All together now: "HARRY?"

Now the questions from random people.

"When did you start calling him Harry?"

"Harry, when did he stop calling you Potter?"

"What the hell is between you and him?"

"What is between you two that allows him to call you Harry?"

Many more are said in a rush where no one is understood. Finally Harry gets sick of it.

"WOULD YOU ALL JUST BLOODY SHUT UP!"

Everybody immediately shuts up and stares at him.

"Good. A lot has happened that nobody knows about, and nobody will be told about for a while yet. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go."

Harry walks over to the still in pain and cursing Tom, helps him to his feet, and brings him to the hospital ward of Hogwarts. Needless to say there is a total uproar from both sides at this, and Draco, Lucius, Dumbledore, and Snape all run after the two, getting to the hospital wing in time to hear Harry explaining why he had just brought his 'worst enemy' to the hospital wing. They stayed outside the door and listened.

"He hasn't been my enemy since the summer after my fourth year. We used our link to get to know each other better. We started to basically go out around the middle of my fifth year. About the middle of July I got away from that day's babysitter, Tonks, and went to my members only bar to meet up with Tom. We got incredibly drunk and well…yeah. We got married about two weeks later. Month and a half later I went to see him and he told me he was pregnant with my child. He is now in labor and I want you to help him 'cause I can't lose him."

"Ok Harry."

"Nice, now would you please do something? This baby is getting out of me now."

"Ok."

They listen as Poppy tells Harry and Tom what to do.

"Ok, Push!"

"Harry I swear as soon as I've had this baby and gotten my strength back I'm going to castrate you in the most painful way possible!"

For the entirety of labor they heard things like this, though towards the end they heard Tom start going into very graphic descriptions of how he would kill both Harry and Poppy when this was over…it was enough to make even the poker-faced Lucius Malfoy look a little green.

Then they heard the cry. The four of them promptly ran into the hospital wing to see Poppy finish cleaning off the baby before handing it to Harry and Tom. And the thing that shocked them the most was that Tom smiled. Not his usual evil smirk, or the smile that meant you were about to feel his wrath through some kind of torture, or even the one that signaled he was about to kill you. Just a normal smile.

"It's our son."

"Our little baby boy"

Snape, Dumbledore, and Lucius promptly passed out, while Draco looks on, smiling, knowing that the war is over (at least most of it is) and both Harry and Tom are finally happy.

Aaaaannnndddd…that's all folks. Yeah, that plotbunny annoyed me for weeks until I finally managed to finish it and have it make sense.

I might do a sequel to this if anybody wants me to…and gives me ideas, as I have no idea what I would do for a sequel.

Anyways…

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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